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WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS? -  The Recap

Originally aired:

Wednesday, November  14th, 2012

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Friend

n.

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement

For reference sake, I started this blog with the definition of the word Friend. This word tends to be used in a very passive way.  In life we accumulate bonds with people that we find commonality with. The process starts very early on in life, as we look to comfort ourselves in the company of others. We forge friendships for many reasons. We are social beings by nature and when we find commonality with someone we embrace them for who they are. We try to take them at face value and accept the good with the bad. At best, your friendships should produce rewarding experiences.  These are the people who we spend most of our time with. They know more about us than anyone else. You support each other when times are hard and celebrate each others victories. At worst, these so-called friends will undermine you, take advantage of you and try to make themselves feel better by making you look bad. Now at what point do you cut a friend loose. Where do you draw the line, when it seems you are a better friend to them than they have ever been to you? The music group Whoudini once asked the question, “Friends.. How many of us have them?” The ones you think should have your best interest at heart, may very well be toxic and cause more problems than you need to deal with. So on this night, here on PLAYING DEVIL’S ADVOCATE™, we’re sharing stories and talking about friendships gone awry. It can happen in many ways and these friends can take on many forms, so if you’re not sure what to do with a friend of yours who has betrayed you in some way, then listen in to our show entitled “What About Your Friends?”

Show me who a man’s friends are and I will tell you who he is. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you’ve listened to our show before then you know that Ms. KiKi has a lot of friends, both male and female. We’re always happy to be treated by one of her friends calling into the show. Tonight a buddy of hers called in to share his story, of how one of his closest friends did him wrong. He thought of this friend as if he was his brother.  He opened up heart and his home to him and shared everything with him. Well the one thing he was not expecting to share was his wife!  While he was out-of-town, this so-called friend, who was staying with him took advantage of much more than his kindness. This is the ultimate example of selfishness and betrayal. Not just on the part of the friend but also on the part of his wife who,  for all intents and purposes should be your best friend. It’s one thing to get with a friend’s ex, which most people disapprove of, but one should never covet a friend’s wife, no matter if you could or not. Along with having lots of friends, Ms. Kiki has also had a lot of experiences, which she openly shares with us weekly. Sometimes it’s hard to believe some of the things she says, but it’s always funny to hear he tell it. She thinks I’m too closed off and don’t let people get close enough to me. I think she can be too open and sets herself up for a lot of bullshit to happen. I’ll give her this though, she always shines through the darkness and those that choose to try to do her wrong only end up making themselves look bad. She told us about a girlfriend she had, who she hooked up with a job dancing with her for an artist she was employed by. You would think this person would simply be thankful for the opportunity, but as it happens they turned out to be a backstabbing opportunist. Even though she herself had a fiance and this artist was married… she took advantage of a drunken night and slept with said artist.  Kiki found out what happened when she called the artist’s room the next morning and her friend answered the phone!!!! Obviously she never read Kiki’s book.  As Kiki so plainly put it “what part of the game is that?”. You would think it ended there right? Think again… She started showing her jealousy because of Kiki’s friendship with him and even accused Kiki of hooking up with him. To top it off , this girl had the audacity to ask this artist to sing at her wedding! Really??? Reluctantly he did so, and after the wedding she  took one last shot of showing her true colors. While Kiki was talking to the artist and his wife, she walked up and said to the wife “See I’m not the one you should be worried about!” Granted, I might not even trust myself  if I was around Kiki long enough, but damn that’s shady. Oh one more thing… when the same girl had her first child she named her baby after the daughter of the same artist. PEOPLE… I’m telling you… SMH.

I, Shaun Amin am of the mindset that women tend to have many more friendship issues than men do. Among women there seems to be a lot more cattiness, jealous and falling out over men. The only things that ever seem to come between men, is when one owes the other, one has stolen from the other and occasionally when a woman comes between them. Even when these things occur often times men will fight it out and make up rather quickly. Women on the other hand may never repair or recover from a falling out. I’ve been fortunate, to not have had to deal with anything overly dramatic or traumatic. I admit I keep people at arm’s length. Now that doesn’t mean I’m not a valued friend, or that I won’t be there for a friend in their time of need. I just don’t have the time or patience to deal with other people’s drama on a regular basis. So I had to reach out to friends for their stories. One came from a girl I know. She had a friend she knew since childhood. Her best friend at that. The one who knew all her secrets and had been with her through all the ups and down life puts us through. While she was married, she found out that her husband slept with this particular friend. Of course when confronted, she denied it and has until this day. Her now ex husband, didn’t have a great track record of faithfulness and honesty, but she found out from other mutual friends that indeed this transgression did occur. Now if that wasn’t bad enough, towards the end of her marriage she found out that he was cheating with his best friends wife while they were having issues.He even moved in with her and to this day is still living with this girl. Talk about a friend no one deserves to have. I am often heard saying that I prefer the company of animals to human beings… this is a clear example of why that is. To hear about these stories and much more listen to the archives here.

To find out if you have a toxic friend, here’s a checklist you can use to break down the different types of people you don’t need in your life.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

This week’s “Drink of the Week” is another force of nature straight from the mind of our producer Chandra.  Batton down the hatches folks and run for cover because “Typhoon Chantel”  is coming to town! <– click the link for the recipe.

This week’s Ask PDA letter begs to ask, how honest should you be with your friends? Our writer tells of a friend who seems to have a lot going for themselves,but was recently passed over for a job promotion. The promotion would require this person to deal with more clients. The one things that this friend seems to lack is in the area of appearance.  How do you go about telling a friend that perhaps they should take more care with their personal grooming? Your overall appearance is your calling card to the world and sadly we live in a very superficial world.  People see you and make a judgement long before you ever have the chance to impress them with your character. So if you have a fiend who needs a little help, don’t be afraid to tell them.  A real friend will tell you what they need to hear and in being a real friend you should accept that advice in kind. Don’t t let your own insecurities stand in your way. Sounds good I know…haha!  Listen to the archives to hear the full letter.

Thanks to Rocky Miller for calling in with a few quick stories of his own and for all those that join us weekly in the chat room.  Keep sending those Tweets, Facebook Messages and emails.  We do it for you, but we couldn’t do it without you.

Nest week is Thanksgiving, so before you stuff your bellies, we’re going to wet your appetites with the latest scandals and cover ups going on in the world. Be sure to tune in for “Now That’s Scandalous!”

~Peepin’ Shaun~ 

Shaun Amin

“Peepin Shaun”

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