“LOVE IS…“ - The Recap
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013
- a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
- a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
- sexual passion or desire.
- to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
- to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
- to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
There really is no better subject to discuss on February the 14th than that of love. Love is what binds us, what motivates us and what can also destroy us. It’s been written about, endless movies are made about it and it’s been theorized about to no end. It’s been broken down and dissected to its very essence and still people struggle to find it, understand and hold onto it. It’s something that each and every person on this planet has enjoyed, endured and equally it has caused them pain. With all there is to know about it people still ask the age-old question… What is love? Well on this edition of PLAYING DEVIL’S ADVOCATE™ -Hosted by Ms. KiKi we are going to do our best to explain to people all the things one must consider when contemplating this very crucial element of ones own existence. That’s right so take notes because we’re going to tell you exactly what “LOVE IS…”
Ms. KiKi put on her coaching cap tonight and led this very detailed discussion. She began by asking both Sporty Spunky Angel and I, Peepin Shaun to describe how we each define love. She then started to break down what love means from a very natural and psychological perspective. From the dictionary’s definition of the word it’s easy to see why people have such a narrow understanding of what it is. It’s not a feeling or an emotion. In fact it is a combination of types, stages, styles and languages. All mixed with a heavy concoction of chemicals that your brain releases into your system. Ever heard of someone being addicted to love? What other chemicals do people become addicted to? That’s right we’re all a bunch of love junkies. In our own unique way, we’re not all that much different from a crack head looking for the next fix. Knowing the process that we are experiencing should lead people to understand that is all starts from within. Loving yourself first, means knowing and accepting yourself and being free to express who you are to others in a positive and nurturing manner. Imagine how much healthier your intimate relationships would be if you were able to induce the knowledge of how you love and why you love. We can’t help who we love, but the things discussed on the show will give you a broader understanding of why love can be so damn confusing.
First of all there are at least 15 Different Types of Love:
Infatuation, Romantic Love, Eros, Compassionate Love, Unconditional Love, Conditional Love, Puppy Love, Maternal Love, Paternal Love, Soul-mate Love, Spiritual/Divine Love, Love of your country or patriotism, Self-Love, Brotherly Love and Tough Love.
There are 3 Stages of Love:
Stage 1: Lust
This is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen – in both men and women.
Stage 2: Attraction
This stage is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage; Adrenaline, Dopamine and Serotonin.
Stage 3: Attachment
Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together for the natural urge to procreate. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment; Oxytocin and Vasopressin.
There are 6 Styles of Loving:
Based on the same premise of the color wheel in which there are primary and secondary colors (which are a mixture of 2 or more primary colors). The thinking is the same as it relates to the styles of love.
Three primary styles:
1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
2. Ludos – Love as a game
3. Storge – Love as friendship
Three secondary styles:
1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love
Several listeners and chat room participants asked many questions about being addicted to love, the possibility of being in love with more than one person and stalking! KiKi, forever the resource, quickly offered answers and psychological facts to back up her responses….and after Rocky Miller & Facebook Shaka chimed in, we discussed the
Five Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
If you are interested in finding out which of the 5 Love Languages is yours, click the link and take the test. To find out how we each scored and what our Love Language is you’re going to have to listen to the ARCHIVES. It’s a lot to take in and digest, but as you can see and will hear… Love by no means is a simple thing.
As a toast to the theme of this show, our producer Chandra created something that would appeal to those with a blood sucking mentality. A Vampire’s wet dream indeed. This week’s “Drink of the Week” is called “Shot to the Heart”.
The Ask PDA letter is an example of how the early stages of love can go awry. When two people are not at the same stage or even in the same type of love, signals can get mixed. Our writer says that their love interest seems to be showing them all the signs of wanting to move forward. They spend a significant amount of time together and they are showered with attention and affection, but has also clearly stated that it’s not going to become any more significant as far as labeling or defining their relationship. How should one feel when you seemingly have all you need except the commitment of monogamy. Are they being unrealistic or are they simply being played? Find out what we said, then tell us what you think!
Thanks to our callers, guest panelists and our chat room participants for making this a great show. Keep sending those Tweets, Facebook Messages and emails. We do it for you, but we couldn’t do it without you.
Next week we are taking another look inward. In order to truly love yourself you have to figure out what things are hidden down deep that prevent you from moving forward in your life. It is true that you will always be your own worst enemy. So we’re gonna peel back some flesh to discover “THE ENEMY WITHIN: Self Sabotage”.
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KiKi Sporty Spunky Angel