“THE RELATIONSHIP FIXER” – The Recap
Wednesday, December 12th, 2012
In life we all must deal with relationships and in our lifetime those relationships will come in many dimensions and forms. They will shape us, influence us and both add to and take away from us. Whether it be with a family member, co-worker or mate we will find ourselves in situations that can be painful and confusing to deal with. Of course it would be wonderful if our every interaction with another human being was a positive experience. Sadly this is not the case, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t learn from and grow as individuals in the face of our greatest emotional adversities. The problem most people seem to have is that they are too afraid to let go. Holding onto something or someone who is not only detrimental to your happiness, but will never truly belong to you is just silly. Free will is that thing we all seem to value, yet when the actions of another tears a hole in the fabric of our makeshift utopia we can’t seem to chalk it up to human nature, leave well enough alone and move on. So how do you make sense of things, when you are more invested with your heart, ego and pride than you are with your mind? Well that’s exactly why this show is called “THE RELATIONSHIP FIXER”.
Ms. KiKi offers her expertise and understanding of the human condition to answer questions about difficult relationship scenarios. Sometimes we all need a voice of reason to help snap us back into reality and I can’t think of a better voice for such a job. As candid as she is the show started with an admission of guilt. It’s a rare thing for her to ever lose her cool and go off on someone, but it happened. When a friend or family member chooses a mate that no one else seems to like, how long does it take before you let it be known that this person is poisonous. It’s easy to say that it’s none of our business, but when you witness time and time again that this person’s actions are of benefit to no one, it’s only a matter of time before even the most civil minded person blows their top. It may not be her typical way of handling situations of this nature, but she is human after all.
Sporty Spunky Angel and I, Peepin Shaun Amin challenged her life coaching skills and asked a series of questions that we just might find ourselves in one day:
What if your partner is found to be interacting with someone online in a flirtatious manner, but claims it’s all harmless computer fun? Is this considered a form of cheating? Some may quickly say yes even if nothing physical has occurred. However if you’ve never had a conversation about your personal boundaries there has to be some leeway offered before you start down the path of mistrust. If it’s never talked about it will only allow for the possibility of it to go further. We can all hang ourselves with bad decisions and claim ignorance as a means of defense. So if you have facts to support your concern it’s in your best interest to calmly address it and be clear about how it makes you feel. At least then they will know that they are crossing your lines and you don’t have to talk yourself into giving them a pass after the mess up.
What do you do when you get a text message from a “friend” of yours that was not intended for you, but is clearly ABOUT you? Being talked about behind our backs is never something we want to find out about, especially coming from someone we consider a friend. Hearsay is one thing, but when you are reading a text that this person wrote, badmouthing you and they were careless enough to mistakenly send it to you… is there really anything to talk about after that? Sooner or later people will always show their true colors and once you have that information you can decide exactly how to deal with that person going forward. If they didn’t respect you enough to talk to you directly about how they feel, who knows what else they may be saying about you.
You think your roommate’s BF is a really nice guy. You also know that your roommate cheats on him all the time and he has no clue. You feel badly and wish you could somehow tip him off, but should you say anything? KiKi doesn’t suggest getting yourself involved in their business, but she does think if it makes you uncomfortable there is something you can do. To find out what that is, listen to the archive!
What makes Ms. KiKi such an expert about the simpler aspects of the games we play? Yeah it’s because she has studied human behavior, and it’s also because she spends and has spent the better part of her life advising and coaching clients, friends, family and strangers but I’m referring to the fact that she has written a book about it. This book is a guideline for those who decide to engage in these particular activities. The book is a great tool to gain a better understanding of the protocol that should be put into place to protect yourself and your primary interest. It’s also a great read for those who need to better understand what the game is and how it works. What you do with this information is entirely up to you, but it’s always best to be as well informed as possible. It makes for a great Holiday gift as well. For info, click–> “The Other Woman Code of Conduct“
“I think it is important that people understand that just because you have chosen to engage in socially unacceptable behavior does not mean you have to be personally irresponsible in your actions.” ~ KiKi Richardson
Our resident legal expert Ikiesha Al-Shabazz, was back with us this week with an interesting situation of her own. She’s “spending time” with a younger man who wants to have kids, but she has already fulfilled that part of her life. If you were in this situation could you allow your mate the chance to go outside of your relationship to become c0-parents with someone else and still be willing to be supportive of them going forward?
To hear how KiKi answered this question and many more you’re going to have to listen to the archives. You’ll hear her field questions such as:
- What do you do when your GF wants to leave you for woman?
- What do you do when you find out your sister is sleeping with your fiance?
- What do you do when you’re sent a picture on Facebook of an old ex and your current wife flips out over it?
- What do you do if you find out the girl you’ve been dating used to do porn?
- What do you do when your mate is openly flirtatious and has even cheated on you before?
- Why do people sabotage their own relationships instead of just being the one to walk away?
It was a fun show and what can be taken from each and every one of these situations is that we all need to work harder on our communication skills and not be afraid to admit the truth. I’d also add that it’s never a good idea to stay somewhere you are not wanted or being treated with respect. For better or worse you can move forward knowing that you were honest about how you felt and fair enough to offer the other person the opportunity to do right by you. Sounds simple enough right? Yeah well it rarely ever seems to work out that way, unless you’re just cold and heartless or your name is Shaun Amin. 😉
Our producer, Chandra created something special just for this show. The “Drink of the Week” on PLAYING DEVIL’S ADVOCATE™ -Hosted by Ms. KiKi‘ is called “Ms. Fix-it”. <– click the link for recipe. After you drink this delight you might not need any fixing at all. You may not ever be able to feel anything at all either!!
Thanks to our callers, guest panelists and our chat room participants for making this a great show. Keep sending those Tweets, Facebook Messages and emails. We do it for you, but we couldn’t do it without you.
Don’t miss next week’s show! It will be the week before the Holiday and you might need a last-minute gift idea for that someone special. To help you out in a pinch or into a pair of handcuffs join us for “KiKi’s Kinky Christmas List”
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