MONOGAMY: DEAD OR DYING? – The Recap
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Last week the topic on PDA was SOCIAL MEDIA SHENANIGANS and all the stunts people pull on the Internet. This topic gave birth to this week’s topic on Playing Devil’s Advocate – Hosted by Ms. KiKi, Monogamy: Dead or Dying. Playing Devil’s Advocate’s host penned the book “The Other Woman’s Code of Conduct”, divorce is at an all-time high and Scandal is the number #1 rated television show; all these things and more beg the questions, is monogamy even an aspect anymore in relationships? Should we re-evaluate the way we view relationships? Listen to the archives FIRST, then comment!
…The word “Monogamy ” means One Marriage
Is anyone today with one person forever? I have friends who have been married 3 times and I am only 40. So, Ms. KiKi had to ask the main question; Is monogamy dead or just on life support? Sporty and Shaun agree, surprisingly, on the answer to this question. The question actually had a regular chat room participant leave the chat room with their feelings (and tears) on their sleeve and we had only just begun! Wow! (It had me thinking…if this is what the rest of the night was going to be like…I can’t wait!) Now back to the topic. One of the things I LOVE about PDA is that I learn something every Wednesday night and last night was no different. I learned that there are different forms of monogamy. Yes, monogamy has categories and labels…who would have thought?! So go get your pen and paper ready and Listen to the archives because you need to be ready for THIS class.
First up was Social Monogamy, which refers to two partners living and surviving together. Basically if you are living and paying bills with only one other person you are in a monogamous relationship. The most interesting thing to me about this is that this person does not have to be of the opposite sex! Do most of us equate monogamy with the “Happily Ever After” we were spoon fed in our youth? Which brings us to Sexual Monogamy, which refers to a sexually exclusive relationship, now this is where the question is raised that if this is even in our human nature. KiKi and Shaun expressed excellent views on this issue. We even discussed Genetic Monogamy! I didn’t even realize there was such a thing! After that discourse, we moved on to Marital Monogamy.. he one society focuses the most on. Marital monogamy is of course when two people are married to each other and plan to stay that way for life. LISTEN TO THE ARCHIVES to hear the discussion about the different types of monogamy, and find out if the cast’s attitude changed about if monogamy is dead or dying, then comment and let us know if your view has changed.
PDA’s resident legal eagle called in to add her two cents. Ikiesha unapologetically shared her unconventional views on relationships and how she actively practices what she preaches, which led the conversation to “communication in relationships”. People always say communication is key; but how many people truly communicate what they want, feel and expect? As KiKi stated this could be another show in itself, but it was and is relevant to this type of conversation. Back in the day, the progression of a relationship was laid out. You courted, you dated, you got engaged, you married then you possibly divorced. Today monogamy or the lack thereof, can be directly linked to the lack of communication, with self and one another. LISTEN TO THE ARCHIVES to hear Ikiesha fire off what most people probably want to hear (and she broke a PDA rule in the process!)
The natural instinct of Man is to want what you can not have, so if someone told you “you can’t have sex with anyone else ever, but me” naturally you would want to run break off the neighborhood! This is how the “Drink of the Week” relates to the show. The producer’s Blue Crush is the perfect personification of “the grass is always greener”. That is how I connect the topic and the DOW. Listen to the Archives and hear Ms. KiKi put me on blast about my experience with Chandra’s “secret” signature drink. Really, KiKi?? …I got you!
Sporty even shared a comment that someone shared with her. The honesty of the comment temporarily stunned Sporty and me! Both KiKi and Ikiesha agreed, if more people were that honest maybe monogamy would be alive and kicking! Aversion to monogamy is not a new idea and humans have been bucking this concept for many years. Western society has spoon fed us this concept that is not natural to us as humans. In my opinion, Ikiesha won the “comment of the week” award with her thoughts against monogamy. The way she articulated the ridiculousness of monogamy made me, the hopeless romantic, take another look at the concept. The next caller was interesting because she put more importance on semantics rather than the concept. Is opening the bed also opening the relationship? Please LISTEN TO THE ARCHIVES and comment below!!
As always the chat room was a show within itself. We had many repeat offenders and a few blasts from the past. Shout out to the best chat room participants EVER,!! PDA’s chat room is truly a safe place to voice your views and discuss it. The previous caller led KiKi to explain the definition Poly-amorous relationships and how that is truly our nature. Poly-amorous simply means – many loves. By definition we love many people in our lives for example; your mother, sisters and brothers. Is it so hard to believe that we could love many in our passionate relationships? LISTEN TO THE ARCHIVES and hear how a regular offender and Shaun turn up the fires with just the mention of the word SOULMATE!
The next caller was a true blast from the past. Ms. Sassy Angel a past PDA cast member who is a woman after my own heart. Sassy is a hopeless, sappy romantic and I love it! Our programs are definitely tuned to the “knight in shining armor” and “happily ever after”. Since there are animals that mate for life so as human beings what separates us is, making choices. (Can my choice to be monogamous be natural to me?) Facebook Shaka stopped by and dropped a Top 5 that is not to be missed! This man is seriously CRAZY! 😛 You must LISTEN TO THE ARCHIVES with oxygen to listen to this one, subliminal messaging was involved.
This week’s “Ask PDA” letter again is sponsored by the Producer’s Drink of the Week, Blue Crush. The advice for the writer, “I Want It All” I am sure was helpful. The comments span each end of the spectrum and Sassy and Sporty agreed in a rare moment on the Love, Sex and Relationships that was discussed in the letter. Shaka’s advice…ahem, rant over this letter is NOT TO BE MISSED! I’m Just Saying!
Next week PDA will celebrate 4 years of being on the air!!! So please join us in a BEST OF PLAYING DEVIL’S ADVOCATE!
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KiKi Chandra (Producer)
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